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5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."6. I live in my own little world, it's OK, they know me here.7. I got a sweater for Christmas, I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal.9. I don't approve of political jokes, I've seen too many of them get elected.10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - opps I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven. "It's me Sarah, I have your notes ready," she sounded excited."Now, you do realize that this is not going to happen in day or a week maybe not even for several weeks," I informed her."I have lived with this for 2 years, I can live with it a few more weeks. It's the feeling that I am finally doing something that is wonderful. I should never have run away. I should have stood up and fought him." she said."Well your chance may be coming soon." I said. "I'm on my way back to the apartment now. I'll stop by and pick up your information. Then, I will see what I can do."It was no more than twenty minutes before I pulled into the parking lot. As I left the car I could tell that it was getting warmer. I suppose I should be thinking about the courtyard, I thought as I pushed through the security gate. I might let the preacher stew a little more, before I agreed to a meeting. Or maybe someone else would come along to put in a price.I didn't even get to ring her bell or knock. Sarah Ellen was.
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